Scottish yet not Scottish
neither there nor here
nor Polish
nor Irish
nor British
European of a sort yes
but my philosophy is the East's
my core from China and Japan
Poland is in my heart
because of my father's woes
and his family's despair
but I am not Polish
I am from Hamilton
of Hamilton
in Hamilton
with Hamilton
We are legion
let them emerge
each in its own turn
and not dwell too much
on the confusion of identity
which is after all
just a hotchpotch of Chance
the rain she pours
and does not stop
always she pours
and, warm inside,
shelter safely
but the little robin
on the tree outside
who will care for her?
in the lull
peace
after the busy spell of work
time to simmer down
time for green tea
time to be still
footsteps
on the kitchen floor
the noise of food being prepared
the scraping of knife and butter onto toast
meow of a cat
it's hungry too
demands service
what is a moment?
see? it's gone already.
wait - there's another.
damn, I've missed it.
moments are things that pass us by
while we are trying to notice them
and do something in them.
they will only appear
if we don't look for them
they will only be useful
if we stop searching for them.
this morning
appeared
as
a miracle
to me
I breathed
awoke from whatever sleep is
and became me again
whatever me is
whatever awake is
whatever morning is
whatever breath is
good morning my morning
good morning my day
good morning my moment
good morning my life
good morning my world
good morning my mind
I hope you produce good thoughts
and feelings today.
I hope we get on
and do good for this life
and others in this new day.
Let's try to work together
for what is nurturing and healthy in this new day.
I write this in tribute
to my father
who overcame tragedy
and loss
to live a full rich life
to my grandfathers
who overcame suffering and strife
to live rich lives
though cut short
too short
and to myself
who, outwardly privileged
and stable
have undergone my own painful battles
inner and personal
but move on to the light
and the places of peace and joy
made available to us by Chance.
and to the mothers who made me
and my father and my grandfather.
One broken
all hardworking and hardworked
they kept the fire of life burning
in themselves
and in those they gave birth to,
raised, and loved.
To them all, and to myself
I pay tribute,
and to Fate I give my thanks
to have the privilege of experiencing life.
In January many years ago
my son was born.
In the labour ward
when giving birth to him
my wife nearly died.
Iain was delivered in a
brutal, primitive, lightning-speed
emergency operation.
he was rushed away
to an incubator
not breathing
not stirring.
we found out weeks later
that he had an APGAR score
of one out of ten
APGAR, being the measure
of ten signs of life at birth.
So I'm standing in my wife Christine's blood
which covered most of the floor of the room
she unconscious
her fatally low blood pressure indicators
slowly rising again
because of the three litres of plasma
being pumped into her
after a nurse had sprinted out of the room
to get it for her,
my son somewhere else,
to all intents and purpose
dead
as far as my eyes could judge
then he is returned in an incubator,
alive
and my wife comes out of her slumber
alive
then I'm standing there
holding him
alive and not blue
and it's January
and it is always January in my heart
because despite the cold,
the dark,
the wind,
the rain
this is the month when the miracle of life
presented itself
and imprinted its message
through every cell in my body
and the angels in that room
who saved my wife and son
that day
remain forever in my heart
January folk
who brought warmth and light
into the deepest darkness
in two souls
who almost slipped from my failing existence.
ocean people
no matter where they live
find hope
the wild sea
extracted and exploited;
the high seas
brought low
mental well-being
in the new economy
a digital revolution
a powerful indictment
measure, rank, process
shifts in moral opinion
automated social inequality
judgements that really matter
using cold logic
we lose, we gain
through unintended consequences
welcome to the human plight.
