So there we have it.
United have won the Champions League
defeating Atletico
by 3.5bn pounds to 3.1bn Euros
pipping them at the post
with a stoppage-time injection
of money-laundered 100m pounds
despite a similar-sized bribe to the match officials
from the opposition.
The President of the Federation of Football Club Owners
said it was a truly thrilling final
with both sides giving their all
with money from dictatorships
and the exploitation of local fan loyalties.
Our thanks go to Sleaze TV for their vast sums
obtained through viewer subscriptions
and we look forward to seeing all the fans
pay outrageous sums for next year's season tickets.
It truly is The Beautiful Game.
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