if Wladyslaw had not been granted land
if dad had stayed in the Polish army and not transferred to the navy
if mum had decided not to go dancing the day they met
if they had decided the other way when they discussed in 1949 whether to emigrate to Poland or not
if that sperm had gone off course just a millimetre
if mum and dad had decided to stay in Cambuslang instead of moving to Hamilton
if one teacher had said study maths or english or philosophy instead of law
if Kenny hadn't suggested we go the Munich Beer Festival in 1982
if Phil hadn't asked Christine to come with him to Kenny's birthday party
if all this and a million things more
you would not be reading this
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